7 Ways The Groove Belt Is Like Chuck Norris
The typical belt is the plight of every man. The awkward bend-over, tedious unbuckle, annoying extra slack… these are afflictions that our entire species must deal with on the daily.
All of us, at least, except Chuck Norris.
You’ve heard the legends. Chuck Norris hasn’t ever been taken down by anything that can affect the average person. Here are a few golden facts that we’ve heard flying around.
- Once a cobra bit Chuck Norris’ leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.
- Chuck Norris can slam revolving doors.
- When Chuck Norris enters a room, he doesn’t turn the lights on, he turns the dark off.
- When Chuck Norris falls into a puddle of water he doesn't get wet, the water gets Chuck Norris.
When you put on The Groove Belt, you take on a whole new level of awesomeness. Suddenly anything is possible. The world bows down at your feet. Why? Because you’re now wearing the Chuck Norris of Groove Belts.
Don’t believe us? Go ahead and grab yourself a belt. Or… keep reading to see how it works.
7 WAYS THE GROOVE BELT IS LIKE CHUCK NORRIS
The Groove Belt couldn’t be more awesome if Chuck Norris himself had designed it out of rattlesnake venom and the thigh of a lion. We aren’t saying that IS what happened, but we aren’t saying it isn’t…
The Groove Belt is everything you didn’t know is possible in a belt, and only the worthy can wear it.
How is the Groove Belt like Chuck Norris? It defies nature in these 7 ways:
IT STRETCHES BUT IT WON’T FOLD.
If you’ve ever owned a utility belt, you know it’s either super flimsy or extremely stiff and inflexible. The Groove Belt has just the right amount of stretch to be comfy whether you’re training for an MMA fight or kicking back after a good buffet dinner. As comfy as The Groove Belt is, though, you won’t ever have to adjust the annoying fold in the belt loops. This belt will keep its shape no matter what.
IT IS WIFE AND MOTHER-IN-LAW APPROVED.
This belt will have your wife and mother-in-law hugging each other and smiling. Now that’s a miracle right there. The classy, clean-cut design appeals to mom, while your wife will love that trendy belt buckle. What’s not to love?
THE GROOVE BELT DOESN’T JUST KEEP YOUR PANTS UP - IT KEEPS GRAVITY DOWN.
With The Groove Belt snapped securely around your waist, gravity seems to go away. You don’t notice the weight of that wallet dragging your pants down, the bend and squat to pick up legos becomes G-rated, and that subtle habit of hiking the blue jeans goes out the window. It’s magical.
THE GROOVE BELT DOESN’T GO WITH EVERYTHING… EVERYTHING GOES WITH THE GROOVE BELT.
You put this men’s belt on and the world turns into a chameleon, altering to match it. Suddenly your denim jeans look extra snazzy and that striped polo from 2005 becomes the envy of every guy at the office. If you don’t believe us, try it out for yourself.
THE PHRASE “OH SNAP” WAS COINED AFTER THE FIRST GROOVE BELT WAS BUCKLED.
Not everybody can snap their fingers, but anyone can snap The Groove Belt with just one hand with the magnetic buckle! Warning: If you add this belt to your closet, prepare yourself for some requests to hear that snap “just one more time.”
THE GROOVE BELT ISN’T AS STRONG AS STEEL, STEEL IS AS STRONG AS THE GROOVE BELT.
The Groove Belt is made out of the strongest stuff out there. Between our proprietary webbing, rare earth neodymium magnets, and A380 aluminum alloy buckle, you will basically be an astronaut in this bad boy.
CHUCK NORRIS TRIED TO BREAK THE GROOVE BELT… AND FAILED.
It’s impossible. ‘Nuff said. As the legend goes, Chuck Norris is still grappling with the Groove Belt at the base of Mount Kilimanjaro. If you visit to fact check us, tell him we said hello, but don’t mention the 94-Year No BS Warranty that covers all of our gear. We’d hate to see a grown man cry.
BUT FOR REAL.
We designed The Groove Belt with a crazy level of durability and strength. Guaranteed. Whether you’re hunting, biking, snowmobiling, or skydiving, the comfort flex, resilience, and simple one-snap buckle will make your life so much simpler. Grab yourself a Groove Belt and see what all the hype is about.
ABOUT GROOVE LIFE.
You think our belts are awesome? You should see our rings and watch bands. When you put on our gear, you’ll never want to take it off again. We are a team of innovative adventurers and spend our time designing products that are comfortable, stylish, and inconvenience-free. Plus, we back all of our gear with a 94-Year No BS Warranty. It’s a win no matter how you look at it. Do yourself a favor and give our gear a try. You’ll never look back.
Keep Groovin’!